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Gem's avatar

This is a good piece. Very relatable. Alcohol the bane of so many lives. It's so good, but it's so bad!! I left an alcoholic husband because he wouldn't choose me and our children over booze. I think its admirable that you have found a strategy that works for you, and I think its even more admirable that you are embracing sobriety more often than not. AA isn't for everyone. You could publish and E book on your method. People love methods!! Can I recommend the writings of Gabor Mate, you may enjoy his work.

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Michelle Smith's avatar

What is the method? Everybody tries this! It ‘works’ for a while but it’s like how women always go back to the abusive ex, but it never works. So she rationalises that they can be separated but still have sex occasionally, especially when she arrives at his house to up the kids after a lonely weekend and he’s made dinner and the kids are happy and he offers you a wine ... it never ends well.

I can’t stand AA. Giving up your personal agency to a ‘higher’ power is not the way to end an abusive relationship. It’s to trade one for another. But you have to move on. You have to be someone else - a person who doesn’t drink. You’ll get there when you get there.

Gabor Mate will just give you an excuse to blame everyone else and avoid what needs to be done. He says all addiction is caused by childhood trauma! As Taylor Swift so catchily sang “life is emotionally abusive”.

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